When I first started this blog it was mainly as a place to talk about autism and a place to let off some steam when I felt I was struggling. I blogged my way through Max’s diagnosis and talked about how we were feeling in the weeks and months following his assessment.
But, for the past few months I haven’t spoken about it much, if at all. And I wanted to address this as I know that some of you started following me back then because that was what you wanted to read about.
So why don’t I talk about it anymore?
The truth is that I just don’t want to. I feel like it’s all I’ve done for such a long time, and honestly I’m all talked out.
I struggle with Max most days, just getting him dressed and to school in a morning is physically and mentally draining. I have moaned, cried and talked about how hard it is until I was blue in the face. But it doesn’t change anything. This is our reality.
I have six post about Max and autism sat in my drafts, unfinished. When I’ve had a tough morning, day or week I really haven’t felt like sitting down and writing about it. I’m not just that mum who’s son has aspergers. I want to be more than that, and I am more than that. I want to be me, and write about the things that make me happy. I love fashion, makeup, days out, my family (autism aside), interiors etc… there is much more to me and to us than just Max’s diagnosis.
I love my son dearly. My world would be a very dull place without him, that’s for sure. He is challenging every single day and sometimes I feel consumed with this thing called autism. But you know what, he is more than his diagnosis, he is an amazing, sweet, polite and clever little boy, despite his differences.
Having said all of that, writing is definitely therapeutic and I do find that it helps me to write it all down and get it off my chest. So those unfinished posts that I mentioned will get finished eventually, it may take me weeks or even months but I will talk when I feel ready to.
So my blog is going to continue to be a space for me to talk about what I want to talk about, and that isn’t just autism.
I hope this all makes sense, it’s just another one of those ‘get it off your chest’ kind of posts!
See my other posts on autism here.
Thanks for reading.