For as long as I can remember I always saw myself with three children. Maybe that’s because I’m one of three myself but that’s just how I imagined my life would be.
Even after we’d just had Evie, in that newborn bliss stage, we still said we wanted another. We’ve never had much money and don’t have a big house but even that didn’t stop us from wanting a third.
So what changed?
We quickly leant that having two children isn’t easy. Kids are hard work, really hard work. It’s no secret that I don’t find being a mum to these two easy, in fact I find it really difficult. As they’ve gotten older it is getting easier in some respects but harder in others. And then of course there’s the fact that Max has aspergers and the challenges that that brings aren’t going to go away, it’s something that we will live with forever. So the reality is that we just couldn’t cope with another child.
Of course there’s the practical side of it all as well, the lack of money, space, family holidays being much more expensive etc. But do any of those reasons really stop anyone from having another baby is it’s what they want?
Max and Evie are four and six now and them being babies seems like a lifetime ago. For a long time I didn’t get broody at all when I saw a new baby, I just felt sorry for the mum who was probably feeling stressed out, overwhelmed and living on no sleep. Although I wouldn’t say I feel like that anymore, I know that I wouldn’t want to go through it all again now.
But it does make me sad sometimes. I first started writing this post back in March (yes, it’s taken me that long to finish it!) which is always an emotional month for me as it’s the kids birthdays so I always find myself looking back at baby photos and reminiscing. It’s also a month when I find myself wondering about the third baby that will never be.
Would they be a boy or a girl? What would they look like? Would they look like me and Evie or more like Max and James? Evie would be an absolutely amazing big sister and both her and Max keep asking for a baby brother or sister, which doesn’t help!
Although I do get emotional about it sometimes, I know that it’s the right decision for us as a family and I have made my peace with it.
How many children do you have? How did you decide when to stop?
Thank you for reading.