Another Thing to Add to the List


This isn’t one of those posts that’s likely to get many views or really interest anyone very much but I started my blog as a place to write things down and to have a good moan, so that’s what I’m going to do…

We’ve just got back from a hospital appointment with Max, a hearing appointment to be specific and it turns out he has mild hearing loss in his right ear. I’m just feeling really really upset about it, the poor kid is developing quite an impressive list of problems.


Poor eyesight


Hearing problems

What will it be next?

Back when he first started preschool they picked up on a problem and asked me to get his hearing and eye sight checked. When I took him to the GP she was willing to refer him for a hearing test but not for the eye test as she thought he was able to see as much as he needed too.

When he had that first hearing test he was probably only three so they struggled with the testing as he just wasn’t concentrating enough. We went back six months later, he passed the test this time and we were discharged.

Fast forward to a few months ago and he fails his school hearing test so he is referred to the hospital once again. I came very close to cancelling this appointment as I really didn’t think there was a problem. And that’s what’s upsetting me most about this, and about his eye sight problems. How did I not realise there was a problem?

I had noticed him responding with “what?” a lot recently but I know that children with autism can have auditory processing problems so I just put it down to that. Like he would say “what?” before he’d given his brain a chance to think. His teacher even commented on the fact that he needs more ‘think time’ than other kids, which just backed up what I thought.

I fully expected to come out of this appointment having been told that there was no problem with his hearing. It’s come as a bit of a shock.

He’s been diagnosed as having mild conductive hearing loss, which means that there is a build up of fluid in the middle ear, behind the eardrum. It CAN correct itself, but it can also get worse. And with hindsight, I would say it seems to me like it has been getting worse.

We go back to the hospital in three months to see if it has gotten better/worse. If it’s still the same or worse we’ll be referred to the ear, nose and throat department who will look at fitting a grommet or a hearing aid.

In the mean time we just need to make sure that we speak loudly and clearly to him, and make sure his teacher knows to do the same.

I just feel so sorry for the kid, I really do, it breaks my heart with everything he has to go though. And I feel like a bit of a failure as a mother right now too. I should have known.

Thanks for reading.



  1. April 1, 2016 / 4:47 pm

    I’m sorry to hear about all of this. Hope that his hearing is okay x

    • April 1, 2016 / 4:48 pm

      Thank you. I’m sure I’ll feel more positive about it tomorrow x

  2. April 1, 2016 / 5:08 pm

    Sending love. Hope that they can help his hearing xxx

  3. April 1, 2016 / 5:22 pm

    What about tubes in the ear to allow the fluid to drain? I don’t understand why the doctor is WAITING to see if it gets worse when there is already difficultly hearing. This is a critical speech and language learning period. If your child isn’t hearing well, it will negatively impact both his articulation of sounds and his expressive language skills. I’m a speech-language pathologist and generally refer to an audiologist and ENT when these symptoms are affecting communication skills. Best of luck!

    • April 1, 2016 / 5:24 pm

      I don’t know 🙁 seems standard procedure. Are you in the UK or US? Thing is he doesn’t have any problems with speech and language, I know a lot of autistic kids can have problems with speech but Max never has x

      • April 1, 2016 / 5:33 pm

        I’m in the US. If speech and language skills are developing okay, then tubes aren’t as imperative. Just don’t want to let it go on too long as it can affect communication skills. 🙂

  4. April 1, 2016 / 5:26 pm

    Listen, you are doing a fine job. Being a mother is challenging, and being a mother of a child who has special needs is even more challenging. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everything will workout! ? xo

  5. April 1, 2016 / 5:37 pm

    Don’t feel like a failure! I’m sure with those other issues he has other professionals involved with him, if they didn’t pick it up before now then how could you have? Not to mention his teacher and other school staff. For it was bad they wouldn’t be waiting to see what happens. Dont beat yourself up about it, he will be ok xx

  6. April 1, 2016 / 5:59 pm

    Emma, please stop being so hard on yourself. You as a mother, cannot possibly know and detect everything with a child. I know, we would like to as mothers, and we feel it is our duty as mothers, but it really is impossible. We use our instincts and guidance from our children, and remember it is a lot harder to figure stuff out with a child with Autism. I know it is not nice for Max or you or your family to be going through all this, it just does not seem fair, and trust me, I understand that. But, please, don’t blame yourself. You are doing only what a loving mother can do…your best. x

  7. joanna
    April 1, 2016 / 9:08 pm

    Sorry to hear this Emma but your not a bad mum at all. The fact you are taking him to be assessed etc is proof your an amazing mum as you want him to get help for his problems. Hes a lovely little boy and you should be proud <3


  8. lynne
    April 2, 2016 / 9:49 am

    Your blogs are full of intreseing information for parents who are in the same boat as yourself. You talk about everything from how max as been to how you are coping I think your amazing and if it makes you feel better rant and moan as much as you like because you know as soon as you look at your little boy your heart melt keep up the good work Emma xx

    • April 2, 2016 / 5:34 pm

      That’s such a lovely comment, brought a tear to my eye! thank you x x

  9. April 3, 2016 / 12:56 am

    Why should you have known? There are people who specialize in knowing these things, and THEY still miss them, even with their own children. I’ve only just now read your blog, but from this one entry I can tell you aren’t a negligent parent, so the lack of possessing foresight or your inability to control a situation is not a reflection on the quality of care you give your children. Everyone has their path, and your role is to help them learn from and navigate it whatever it may be.

    When we were having our son evaluated for his speech and language, all I kept thinking was that there was something I didn’t do caring for him. Maybe if I tried a different approach he would be speaking. Through the process I’ve learned that it is what it is, independent of me. I’d like to say that my son is age appropriate with his speech by now, but he isn’t. He’s making progress, but not enough to know for sure if this is something that will correct and we all will move on, or if it will be a long slog for years. I have no control over the outcome for the most part, so I just muddle through and try to get out of my own way.

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