Come Autumn, the spooky season rolls in like a gust of wind. There is a chill in the air, the nights get shorter, and everything takes an eerie turn. This season beckons spookiness in all that you do, from streaming horror movies on Netflix to shopping for Halloween outfits to wear for trick-or-treating.
Personally, I love binge-watching horror movies, from the good ol’ classics to the latest paranormal and zombie franchises. I’m also a lover of comedy and all things silly. Blame it on the nip in the air or the effect of the spooky season; my imagination starts running wild, making the unlikeliest of horry-comedy combinations. It gets me thinking, “What if iconic horror movies and characters have mediocre everyday lives and go through modern-day horrors?”.
Today, my brain has decided to throw a Halloween party, and you’re invited. Here are 7 spooky but silly thoughts and unlikely combinations fuelled by my wild imagination.
1. The Addam’s Family Loan Company
Picture your eccentric and spooky family living like modern-day employees of a loan disbursal company. Quirky, right? Replace the dark and brooding Gomez and Fester with smart executives, ready to disburse quick payday loans to desperate customers, without a proper credit check. Doing their bidding is IT, the appendage, frantically typing loan applications away to glory.
Morticia Gomes is the head of the company, instructing loan sharks Wednesday, Pugsley, and Lurch to follow up with loan defaulters, asking them to pay up. If this family doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what will!
2. SAW DIY Tool Shop
In my imagination, Jigsaw Killer from the legendary SAW series has turned over a new leaf and opened his latest venture, the SAW DIY Tool Shop. He has his shop up and running in the same location as the first movie, minus the dead bodies lying around or blood splattered across the walls, of course.
Jigsaw is still afraid to come out of the shadows, wearing his iconic Billy the Puppet mask when he’s interacting with customers. From power tools to the latest saws, you can get quality tools for all your DIY needs and more. Here you’ll find everything – from Qonnect blind rivets to blind rivet nuts for all your fastening needs too.
As usual, Jigsaw is meticulous with his detailed instructions, just like in the SAW films, but you don’t want to get on his dark side, or it might just prompt him to say, “Let’s play a game!”.
3. Final Destination Travel Agency
‘Travel far away before Death catches up’ – that’s the slogan for the travel agency run by, well, Death. Without the unwelcome premonitions, of course, you can reserve tickets for trains, flights, and cruises as well as rent a car for school excursions or get-togethers with friends. Choose from multiple travel packages as per your needs and receive the popular flags for sale for each package you choose.
The first one guarantees turbulence that’ll make you think you should’ve never boarded the flight in the first place. The second includes a precarious near-miss car accident on a speeding highway. Depending on the season and availability, you can enjoy a near-fatal racing accident. The agency also caters to hosting friends and family at the theme park, with special discounts on the ride-to-death roller-coaster rides.
The central theme of this agency is survival of the fittest or beating death, whichever comes first!
4. Dracula Tax Office
Imagine if the iconic fanged creature was your tax officer. Talk about feeling the chills! Although he belongs to a different generation, don’t think he won’t be up-to-date with the latest UK tax codes after living for more than 900 years. In my mind, Dracula is a bespectacled gentleman, poring over Excel sheets of your bills and tax receipts, tut-tutting while shaking his head in dismay over your frivolous spending habits.
What really gets his interest and approval is how often you donate blood!
5. Psycho Bathroom Hardware
The classic film Psycho was a psychological thriller that scared the living daylights of viewers. After watching that movie, taking showers in hotels was never the same. What if Psycho the Killer mended his ways, gained expertise in plumbing, and turned into an expert in bathroom needs?
Psycho is a one-man show, running his online hardware store and ready to install bath fittings, shower heads and the like at your premises. Don’t worry, he’s not raising any knives in the shower; instead, he’s ready to raise the wrench and bang it on the faucet when it just won’t stop leaking.
6. The Ring Hair Salon
How about getting your very own hair stylist, who’s also a celebrity? In my imagination, Samara Morgan, the tortured girl from the Ring and Ring 2 movies, has gone from getting rid of people to giving them a makeover. You might feel perturbed by her haunting presence, but once you enter ‘The Hauntingly Beautiful’ salon, you might be in for a nasty surprise.
Set deep into the woods, enter her salon to a dimly lit ambience that questions your life’s choices. She welcomes you, her eerie self covered with her shining glossy and black curtain of hair. You can’t see her face, but her excitement is palpable from animated hand gestures.
Her signature hairstyle is called ‘The Flow’, where she styles your hair into long, flowy bangs that fall all the way down to your knees. How she does this is a mystery in itself, quite like her life. But you have to trust her, as the salon prohibits mirrors, so you can’t really see the final result.
If you’re looking for a dramatic change, this is it! Be the talk of the town as you waltz into business meetings and social gatherings with this haunting yet captivating hairstyle.
7. Pennywise’s Party Supplies
The not-so-friendly clown from IT film was not joking when he put his scary days behind him and declared to start a party supply business. Named ‘The Red Balloon’, his shop supplies streamers, banners, buntings, confetti, and balloons, of course, for all your party requirements. Each time you buy red balloons, you’ll meet with his sinister grin and quote, ‘Time to float!’.
Cake decorations are the highlight of his supply shop. Pick from spooky clown faces and real cake spiders that are ready to add a touch of Halloween to the most innocent of birthday party celebrations. Pennywise is still in two minds about offering party clowns on hire, fearing it might bring back his life’s macabre experiences and take him down the same spooky path again.
Take home party favours with a slogan printed, ‘Pennywise Parties to Haunt Your Memories, FOREVER’. Just make sure you burst all the red balloons after. You don’t want them to go astray.
Summing Up
You don’t need television when you have a wild imagination! These seven spooky but silly thoughts are just a small part of the pandora’s box of weird and wonderful things that dance in my mind. Combining the macabre with the mundane everyday things and experiences opens a gateway into the most delightfully absurd and scary scenarios, don’t you think?
The next time you watch a film so scary that you’d wish to sleep with the lights on forever, just read these spooky but silly thoughts and see the fear evaporate. Who knows, these quirky ideas might just fire up your wild imagination too!
Thank you for reading.
