I recently celebrated my dad’s 80th birthday with a tribute to his amazing life. It’s just so hard to believe it’s been three years since he passed away because I still feel his presence around me. I feel lucky that my brother and I got to spend 44 years of my life with him.
If there was one person who had the most influence on my life, undoubtedly, it was my dad. My interactions with him were neither restricted to the typical father-daughter football game nor was he the person to cry his eyes out like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride. As I sit down to write this post, I remember him unknowingly sharing the most important lessons of his life with me through anecdotes.
Here are 5 of his life lessons that still ring true for me today and could apply to your life as well.
1. Your Future Is Created by What You Do Today, Not Tomorrow
My dad loved taking risks in his lifetime, but he was a man who took calculated risks. “Sweetheart, if you risk nothing, you achieve nothing.” These were his words when I was six and too afraid to jump into the pool. I recall how I took the plunge and eventually learnt how to swim with his support and guidance.
But as my brother and I grew up, I saw him becoming more cautious in the way he took decisions. He ensured that none of his decisions negatively impacted his family in the future. Whether it was learning how to create a will online or pushing us to be more financially literate, he always made sure to do what was right.
His approach to life served as a lesson in how to take care of myself and my children in the future, just as he did. I aim to follow in his footsteps and plan my estate too.
2. Borrowing Money Is Not the Problem, Not Paying Back Is
My father never wasted money on buying frivolous things; he found it akin to burning money. You see, my dad grew up in a household where money was tight. Being the youngest of seven siblings, he was used to receiving hand-me-downs, be it toys or clothes. Having lost his father at a very young age, they had to face some difficult times trying to make ends meet.
His financially deprived childhood taught him the value of money. However, he never deprived us of life’s joys, whether it was taking us to Hyde Park Winter Wonderland or buying us the latest Harry Potter books. However, he always emphasised the value of saving because he never wanted us to go through the same tough circumstances that he went through.
There was a time when he suddenly lost his job and was unemployed for six months. He was forty-two when it happened and was struggling to find another job. Unlike now, where options like poor credit loans and payday advances are available to bail you out in just a few clicks, back then, you could only rely on family and friends to help you when you were short on money.
I still remember his enraged expression when he discovered I had borrowed money from a classmate to buy the new Hardy Boys novel and failed to repay her. Even though we were short on money, he insisted that I pay her back the £1.50 she lent me the very next day. I didn’t see reason in his behaviour then, as a rebellious thirteen-year-old, but I do now.
My father had no objections to borrowing money from someone, but he would never stand for failing to repay the money. Thank you for teaching me this valuable lesson, Dad!
3. All the Money in the World Can’t Buy You Back Good Health
This anecdote came to me the other day, when I was searching for the best smart treadmills online. My husband and I have recently taken to running to work on our stamina and energy levels.
So, while browsing for a home treadmill, I couldn’t help but remember the first time my dad set foot in the gym. It was a couple months after his heart surgery when a blocked artery landed him in the hospital. My family was really tense for his recovery, even though the surgery was successful. Thankfully, he recovered quicker than the doctor anticipated.
I still remember him telling me this like it was yesterday: “Darling, remember this for life: All the money in the world can’t buy you back good health. Make sure you put your and your family’s health first above anything else!”
He was ready for a new chapter in his life after a life-changing experience. I learnt from him and his experience that good health can never be bought; it must be earned.
4. Hope for the Best but Prepare for the Worst
I hated exam season during my graduation years because it made me anxious and agitated. I couldn’t stay calm due to the pressure, and it got especially nerve-wracking when the exam dates inched closer.
My dad happened to call me when I was in university, trying to memorise a particularly difficult concept. I was on edge, but he instantly calmed me down. He advised me to prepare well, give my 100%, but not fret over the outcomes.
His words gave me a sense of calm when my mind was in a relatively chaotic state. Without a doubt, I aced those exams and, then on, ingrained this mantra into the testing times of my life.
5. This Too Shall Pass
My dad was already an excellent swimmer, but ten years of smoking had made his lungs weak. After getting discharged from the hospital, he told me how he craved a swim, but the doctor had warned him against it due to his weak lungs and heart. He was visibly upset by this, which pushed him to finally make up his mind to quit smoking for good.
Quitting smoking is a huge challenge to overcome, even from a second-person perspective. He fought the urge to relapse into his old ways by fighting cravings, anger, irritability, and more. It was immensely tough to do at his ripe old age, but he pushed through.
Weeks after finally breaking free from smoking, I asked him how he accomplished it. “This too shall pass,” he said. Looking at my puzzled expression, he explained, “Nothing is permanent, the good or the bad. Whichever phase you’re in, keep going. I knew my struggle to quit smoking for good was not permanent, and I ploughed on.”
Soon after, his doctor gave him the go-ahead, and he was hitting the pool once again.
To Sum Up
I can’t help but feel blessed to have the best dad. I can’t thank him enough for giving me these invaluable life lessons through his uncanny knack for saying the right things at the right time; they’re more than worth their weight in gold.
He was a remarkable man who valued his family and health and was true to himself. These were only five of the many life lessons my father shared with me that have helped me shape the way I navigate the ups and downs in my life. With all the one-of-a-kind life experiences and life mantras I’ve accumulated over the years, I have come to realise how important a father’s love and presence can be to a child.
One day I hope to pass this invaluable wisdom and experiences from my life to my kids too.
Thank you for reading.
