You’re expecting a newborn, and your world is about to change again. Alongside all the excitement, you may also feel a flicker of worry – especially when you think about how your older child might respond.
It’s natural to feel torn between joy for the new arrival and concern regarding the transition for your firstborn. You want to protect their sense of belonging while making space for someone new.
The good news is, with a little intention and plenty of patience, you can encourage your child to feel included, secure and genuinely excited to become an older sibling.
Introduce the idea early
Rather than waiting until your baby arrives, begin talking to your firstborn about their future sibling early in the pregnancy. Keep the language age-appropriate but honest.
Make space for questions – even tricky ones – and answer with kindness and simplicity. It’s also worth reading picture books together about growing families or discussing other children they know who have siblings.
Encourage engagement
Once the idea starts to settle, invite your child to take part in the experience. Let them feel your baby kicking, listen to the heartbeat at a scan if possible or look at ultrasound photos. Small steps such as these help the connection begin to form before the baby is born.
Some kids enjoy pretending to care for a baby using a doll. This play can allow them to explore emotions, try out their future role and get used to the idea of sharing attention. Encourage imaginative play without forcing it – follow your child’s lead.
Involve them in preparations
There’s a lot to get ready before your baby arrives, and your firstborn can be part of those plans. Ask their opinion on small decisions such as which blanket to pack in the hospital bag or where to hang a mobile.
If you’re moving them to a different bedroom, frame it as an exciting next step. Getting your child involved in choosing bedding, books and, eventually, kids’ bunk beds can help them feel connected to their sibling.
Celebrate their role
Talk about the special role they’ll play in the family. Describe what being an older sibling might look like – not just helping out, but also teaching, playing and sharing. Use stories from your own life or people your child admires.
Giving them a small gift ‘from the baby’ at the hospital, or celebrating Siblings Day, can also create a positive association with the new arrival.
Prepare for changes
Despite the best preparation, emotions can run high once the baby arrives. It’s normal for children to test limits or regress slightly. Try to keep routines as steady as you can, and carve out time for one-to-one moments. Even five minutes of reading a book or going for a walk together can remind them they still matter just as much.
Let them express big feelings, especially if they’re messy. Reassure them that all feelings are allowed, and you’re there to listen and love them through it. Naming emotions together can help make sense of the changes.
Holding space for everyone
Bringing a newborn home is a big moment, not just for you but for your entire family. Your older child doesn’t need everything to stay the same; they just need to know there’s still room for them in the new picture.
When you take time to involve them, listen to them and show them their place in the growing family, you encourage them to build a lasting bond with their sibling. And that bond, nurtured from the start, becomes one of the strongest gifts you can give them both.
Thank you for reading.
