Having a baby is supposed to be the best time of your life. After waiting nine months for the little bundle of joy to arrive, you brought this little miracle into the world. Yet, unexpectedly, you can’t seem to muster enough energy to care.
What’s wrong with you? The answer is nothing. However, there might be something wrong with your hormones, and that is completely normal, although not wanted.
In fact, postpartum mood disorders are so common that places like Southern California Sunrise Recovery include programs for them in their sobriety centers. These significant mood conditions cause many new moms to turn to drugs or alcohol because they don’t want to admit that their new baby isn’t the light of their life.
The reality is that if you’re not feeling the love yet, it doesn’t mean you’re a “bad mom.” Instead, you probably have one of these 10 lesser-known postpartum mood disorders and remind yourself it’s just a season, but get help before your struggles worsen.
More Than the Blues
It’s expected that new moms feel a little out of sorts after giving birth. From the trauma of labor to the mixed feelings of going from pregnant to not pregnant, as well as adjusting to caring for a little one, your first few weeks can be a roller coaster!
But if you think your emotions are more than the normal post-pregnancy blues, they may just be one of these common mood disorders.
- Post-Partum Anxiety: If every little noise or quiet period has you worried that there’s something wrong with the baby, or you’re afraid to be left alone to care for your infant, it’s okay. As you get used to being a new mom, this anxiety will never fully go away, but you’ll become more confident in your role.
- Breastfeeding Angst: To breastfeed or not to breastfeed? This decision is judged harshly either way by haters. Do what you want, and then ignore those who would criticize you, remembering that if you had chosen the other options, you’d still have critics.
- FOMO: As you scroll through social media, you’ll see your friends living their lives, doing things you can’t do right now. While your tired hormones might make you think that you’ll never be able to have fun again, this isn’t true. Sooner than you blink, your little one will be more independent, and you’ll wonder why you wished these days away so quickly.
- Comparison Syndrome: On those same social media feeds, you’ll be targeted with new mom ads and reels. As you see other moms looking like supermodels who have it all together, you’ll naturally compare yourself, and you may not like what you see. Remember, these are rarely accurate portrayals of what really goes on when their baby has an exploding diaper or has screamed all night long. You’re doing just fine (but you might want to temporarily suspend your scrolling and just go get some sleep).
- Compulsive Shopping Syndrome: Does every baby item that grabs your attention go in your shopping cart? Here’s the thing: Your child is going to be expensive enough without the need for unnecessary things they’ll grow out of hurting your bank account. If you think you need it, add it to your online cart and walk away for 24-48 hours. If it’s still essential when you come back, get it. Otherwise, consider adding those funds to your child’s savings account to help them when they’re older.
- Pet Avoidance: People often equate having a beloved pet with having a baby — until they have an infant in the home. At that point, every potential danger, from germs to teeth, becomes a worry. Instead of avoiding and punishing your pet, find a balance between giving them attention and introducing them to the new family member versus letting them have full access to the baby.
- Postpartum Pretending: When you’re talking to other new moms and they act like everything is perfect, you may want to pretend you’re not struggling. The fact may be that they’re afraid to admit they’re having troubles, too, and your honesty and vulnerability could be exactly what you all need to help each other.
- Brain Fog: Are you feeling a little less than your normal, intelligent self? Don’t feel bad, most women go through post-partum brain fog. This is partly due to lack of sleep, but mostly because your hormones are still adjusting to the shock of childbirth and not having a baby to grow inside your body. You’ll be back to normal in a year or so, less if you give your body the rest it needs.
- Weaning Discomfort: When to wean, when not to wean? You decided to breastfeed, not realizing that the next judge-y phase that everyone wants to tell you about is weaning. Again, do your research and make your personal decision, then ignore everyone else.
- Social Anxiety and Isolation: You want to get back in touch with your old friends, but the thought of it causes full-blown hives and anxiety. That’s normal, too. Instead of jumping in head-first, call a couple of your besties or favorite family members and dip your toes back into socialization. Slowly, you’ll feel more comfortable bringing the baby into public places, and eventually, you won’t think twice about planning or agreeing to activities.
All of these “disorders” are real, and most of them can be attributed to either your changing hormones, lack of sleep, or lack of confidence in your new mommy role. Be honest with your doctor or friends who have been in your shoes, and take steps to conquer your concerns. Your health—and your baby’s happiness—depends on it!
Thank you for reading.
