Grief can feel all-encompassing and self-consuming, making it difficult to carry on with life. It’s a universal emotion, and every human has encountered it at least once in their life, through the loss of a loved one, relationship failure, diagnosis of a terminal illness or job loss.
Everyone deals with grief differently, and people lamenting a similar loss may not always have the same reaction or coping methods. Recovering from a loss is never a straight path—some days feel lighter, while others weigh heavily on your heart and soul.
Clinical hypnotherapy professionals like Susannah Saunders often approach grief by individually addressing the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. No matter what age, whether it’s an adult or a child, everyone has a different way of dealing with their grief.
Do you find yourself stuck in one stage, regressing or unable to progress? It’s a good idea to seek help. Whether you’re a young adult looking for a clinical psychologist in London or a mom looking for a solution focused therapist in Kilmarnock for your child, what’s important is that you’re taking the first step towards healing.
But before that, it’s important to understand what grief really is. Let’s take a closer look at how grief affects people.
Understanding Grief and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Different people react differently to grief. Many often resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as smoking, vaping, alcoholism or substance abuse when they feel angry or depressed.
However, there are alternative treatments that you can choose in addition to therapy that can help you deal with these addictions. For example, look up professional hypnotherapy for smoking in London or mindfulness or acupuncture therapy in Essex. These types of treatments work in tandem with therapy and are often more effective in comparison to regular therapy.
Other holistic options, such as breathwork and emotional freedom technique (tapping), can also offer valuable tools for managing grief-related behaviours. These approaches focus on calming the nervous system, reframing unhelpful thoughts, and improving emotional regulation, all of which are essential when dealing with loss.
An Overview of The Five Stages of Grief
The five stages of grief model was first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 in her book On Death and Dying. Here’s looking at the five stages of grief in detail.
Denial
Denial is a natural psychological defence mechanism that helps protect us from the immediate shock of a traumatic event. After a bereavement or significant loss, it’s common to feel emotionally numb for a few days. People who are closely impacted may downplay the intensity of their grief, carrying on with daily life as if nothing has changed. This initial phase can serve as a buffer, giving the mind time to process the reality in manageable doses.
The best way to deal with this is to give yourself the time to grieve and acknowledge what has occurred. It’s also a good idea to lean on your support system during this time, like friends or family, or even seek professional help.
Anger
This is the second stage of grief, once you’ve finally come to terms with the news. Anger can be harmful if you try to harm yourself or others (whom you think are responsible); however, it’s a completely natural reaction to grief. Not everyone experiences the same level of anger; some people might not even feel it.
It’s very important to deal with anger in a productive way that doesn’t harm you or others. The best way to do this is to seek help from a therapist or counsellor, who will help you process your grief and anger more calmly and positively. Exercising, journaling and practising mindfulness and meditation are other ways to manage your emotions.
Bargaining
When we experience a traumatic event, it can leave us feeling helpless and overwhelmed. In an attempt to regain some sense of control over an uncontrollable situation, we often turn to thoughts like “what if” or “if only.”
This is known as bargaining, a stage of grief where we mentally negotiate with ourselves, a higher power, or even the person we’ve lost — hoping, on some level, for a different outcome.
However, when you wish to go back and change things for a different outcome, you often hold yourself accountable for the loss. This can be detrimental to your healing journey.
To deal with this stage of grief, start with acknowledging your feelings first, focus on what you can control, practice self-care and self-compassion and reach out to a support group or mental healthcare professionals.
Depression
All stages of grief before depression act as a defence mechanism to protect us from the tragedy. However, this is the stage where you truly come to terms with your grief. It is often the longest and most difficult stage, arriving in waves that can feel unpredictable and overwhelming. During this time, you may experience intense sadness, a loss of interest in everyday activities, disrupted sleep, low energy, and changes in appetite.
Depression can have severe effects on your mental and physical health. If you cannot get over this phase and find it challenging to function, you must seek help from mental health professionals. Therapies such as hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and in some cases, medication, can be effective in managing the symptoms of grief-related depression.
Acceptance
As the popular saying goes, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. The fifth and last stage of grief is acceptance. This happens when you finally come to terms with the grief; you no longer deny it, fight against it or feel like giving up. This stage brings clarity and calm, and while you do understand that life won’t be the same as before, you are ready to give it a second chance.
In Conclusion
Grief can feel crippling and isolating; however, it’s important to understand you aren’t alone. Reach out to your friends and family or support groups (people dealing with the same loss as you). Allow yourself to fully feel and process each emotion as it comes. Suppressing grief can delay healing, while acknowledging your pain is a vital part of moving forward.
Seeking professional help is strongly encouraged. Therapists and counsellors provide a safe, non-judgemental space where you can express your emotions openly. With their guidance, you’ll gain healthy coping tools and emotional support to help you find moments of peace and resilience through your healing journey.
Thank you for reading.
