On the fence about adding a child into your life? Not sure what to do for the best. It’s perfectly okay to feel that way, but here are a few things you should do to endure you make the right choice for you.
1. Acknowledge It
First things first: admit that you’re unsure. Don’t feel guilty, don’t feel weird, and definitely don’t apologise for wanting to live your own life before filling it with tiny humans demanding Peppa Pig marathons. Sit down, brew a nice cuppa, and ask yourself: “What do I really want?” Don’t expect lightning-bolt clarity—just get comfortable acknowledging the question.
2. Borrow a Child (Temporarily, We Swear)
Before you commit to a couple of decades of school runs and PTA meetings, why not test the waters? Borrow a friend’s child for a Saturday. Offer to babysit your niece, nephew, or that kid down the street who always asks oddly philosophical questions. A few hours in the company of an actual child might give you that “Aha!” moment. Maybe you’ll discover a hidden knack for silly voices and bathtime songs. Or maybe you’ll spend the entire afternoon counting the minutes until the parents return, vowing to never, ever do this again. Either outcome gives you valuable insight.
3. Consider Social Freezing
For those feeling pressured by that pesky biological clock, here’s a modern twist: social freezing. Essentially, it’s like putting a bookmark in your fertility chapter. Egg freezing (for women, obviously) or even just acknowledging that sperm doesn’t keep forever, can buy you time. With social freezing, you’re not slamming the door on future parenthood; you’re just politely saying, “Could you hold my place in line while I figure this out?” It’s a genuinely freeing option, allowing you to focus on your career, your hobbies, or your quest to find the world’s best vegan brownie recipe before deciding whether to add ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ to your CV.
4. Talk to Real Parents (and Not Just the Smug Ones)
Yes, we all know that one couple who can’t stop gushing about how their toddler is the next Einstein. But don’t just listen to the highlight reel. Talk to parents who keep it real—the ones who’ll tell you that sometimes they lock themselves in the bathroom just to scroll through their phone for five peaceful minutes. Hearing honest experiences can help you sort your own feelings. You might think, “I can handle that level of chaos,” or you might run screaming in the opposite direction.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Wait
You don’t have to decide this second. Yes, society, family, and random strangers on the train might drop hints (“So, when are you having kids?”). Politely nod, say something vague, and move on. There’s no magical deadline. If you’re not sure, give yourself more time. Keep exploring your life, travelling, building your career—whatever floats your boat. After all, the biggest decision you’ll ever make shouldn’t be rushed just because Aunt Mildred is getting impatient.
Ultimately, choosing parenthood is personal, complex, and sometimes downright baffling. Embrace the uncertainty, explore your options, and trust that the right answer, whatever it is, will find you eventually.
Thank you for reading.
